Exodus 23:25 “You must serve only the Lord your God. If you do, I will bless you with food and water, and I will protect you from illness.”

It has been an INTERESTING 5 weeks…

~ I hit a deer, wrecking my car as I was taking the boys to school one morning. Did over $5,000 worth of damage to my Honda Pilot… After 4 weeks, I FINALLY got my car back last week!!

~ Paxton is being tested for one of the auto-immune illnesses I have (Ankylosing Spondylitis)…

~ Labor Day weekend, as the four of us headed to Atlanta Motor Speedway for a NASCAR race, I had to be rushed to the ER in Fayettville (right outside of Atlanta). I was there, in IMCU for 4 days, after having a mini-stroke and having complications with my oxygen levels. I have been on oxygen 24/7 since then… AND…

~ Paxton fractured a vertebrae in his spine playing soccer. He had a couple of bone scans last week & we’re heading back to Hughston Sports Clinic tomorrow to follow up with a Spine Specialist to discuss Paxton’s treatment. From what the doctor has already told us, Paxton will most likely be in a hard, custom fit brace for 8-12 weeks… no sports or physical activity of any kind until the vertebrae is completely healed.

That is a LOT to deal with in ONE MONTH!!!

Thankfully, even in the midst of all of these things, my mind is focused on the ONE who gives me strength and joy!! NONE of this took God by surprise. He was not caught off guard. He is in control and IS holding Paxton, Me, Micah, and Philip in the palm of His hand. The following scripture is one of my favorites and has comforted me sooooo many times…

Isaiah 40:28-31 (NLT) “Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

HALLELUJAH!!! Oh, how I can personally testify to the strength the Lord gives!! I am so very weak on my own, but in Him… in Him I am a mighty, STRONG woman!!

I praise God, MY Creator, for the MANY blessings in my life. Yes, I have difficulties… but don’t we all? I could be dealing with much worse… many people are!! God has richly blessed me with much more than I deserve. I will forever SHOUT and SING HIS PRAISES and give Him ALL the GLORY for everything good in my life!!! And as crazy as it may sound to some, I will also PRAISE HIM for my DIFFICULTIES… they WILL be used for growth, refinement, to build strength, to draw me closer to my God, to help me keep my focus on Him, and to add to my testimony so God can use me to help others. God WILL turn ALL of this around for MY GOOD and HIS GLORY!!! Can I get an AMEN!?

Prayers, Blessings, and Love to you all…..

“When I understand that everything happening to me is to make me more Christlike, it solves a great deal of anxiety.” – A.W. Tozer

We finally have most of the results from my week long visit at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida last month. I have to admit, at times over the last few weeks I have felt quite overwhelmed. Yet, I KNOW that I am HIS and He is holding me in His hands!!

“You will keep him in perfect peace,Whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You!” Isaiah 26:3

What we found out is that, in addition to Lupus SLE & Pseudo Tumor Cerebri (along with issues with my thyroid, asthma, Raynaud’s Phenomenon…the list goes on..) I have another auto immune disease, ANKYLOSING SPONDYLITIS (you can read more about it here http://www.medicinenet.com/ankylosing_spondylitis/article.htm)

The cardiologist I saw at Mayo also says I have inflammation in the blood vessels on my heart and has started me on daily Nitroglycerin. This really isn’t a big deal, but is something my doctor’s will continue to monitor.

I also had some abnormal results on tests that were run on my lungs, so they ordered a chest CT. They found two small “nodules” in my right lung. We are going to do another scan in 2 months… if there is any growth, we will do biopsies. In the meantime, I will see a Pulmonologist at Emory this Friday, July 29th.

“For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord.” Jeremiah 30:17

While I do admit I have moments of frustration, aggrevation, self-pity, and just plain fear… I ultimately KNOW that I am right smack in the middle of God’s plan for my life. I do NOT believe that God CAUSES sickness and pain in our lives, but I DO believe that sometimes He allows us to walk through pain, affliction, and trials for the purpose of shaping us and molding us into who He is calling us to be so that we are able to be used by Him in more powerful ways!!
“I am looking to the only One who holds me in His hands… His healing, His power, His love, He pours over me like tiny grains of sand… I am His, I am His, I am loved by the King and this… this shall sustain me!!” – From “I am His” by Michelle C. Bush

thank you all for your love and prayers!! God bless!
Michelle

This may be the very first time I’ve blogged twice in one day!! :o) WOW! I just felt burdened to…. As I prayed tonight, I felt a heaviness… then two different scriptures came to mind and immediately lifted the heaviness…. maybe someone else needs to hear this very thing….

“So we can say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?'” – Hebrews 13:6 (NLT)

When people hurt us, or do wrong against us, we are called to show them mercy, love, and grace. After all… that is what the Father has lavished on us, correct? I feel that I do that well, for the most part… I’m not always great at it… but we HAVE to GIVE IT OVER TO GOD!!

God spoke to me very clearly a while back… He has called me into ministry…. and He spoke very clearly that due to the calling He was placing on me, I would come under much attack. Well…. PROPHECY FULFILLED!! But I am confident that God will continue to use me and minister through me, not because of any greatness or worth on my part, but because He SAID it, I BELIEVE it, and He has the POWER to do it….. “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” – Philippians 1:6 (NLT)

The battle is truly NOT with flesh and blood… it is with the enemy of all enemies… No matter how tempting and easy it sometimes seems to put a human face on our attackers, it is none other than Satan himself. Therefore, we can’t fight the battle on our own strength… in our own power, or go about things in the manner we THINK they should be handled. I know that God is helping and sustaining me through this… I know that He is battling the enemy on my behalf… AND on the behalf of those who have hurt me. I’m not the only one hurting. While they may be the ones doing wrong against me, they themselves are hurting… and GOD is THEIR HELPER just as He is MINE!!

My body is weak… my health is not good… (I will give an update in another post from my week at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville once all of my test results are in)… I struggle physically every day… in pain constantly… sometimes I struggle to do basic things… but I am CLINGING to Jeremiah 30:17 which says, “For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord.” HALLELUJAH!!

I have NO IDEA what my future holds… I have no clue HOW God will use me in ministry or WHERE He will use me, but I KNOW that I am in HIS HANDS and HE is GUIDING my path!! I know that I am HIS!! I KNOW that HE calls me HIS CHOSEN, BEAUTIFUL, BELOVED PRINCESS!! I am royalty because my Heavenly Father is THE KING OF KINGS!! It matters not what anyone else has to say about me… my value comes from HIM ALONE!!

“Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.” – Jeremiah 32:17

To say it has been a difficult month or two is an understatement. I’ve dealt with pretty significant health issues, deep hurt & betrayal, painful losses, and some difficult changes in my life and family. I have felt anger, bitterness, confusion, hurt, sorrow, frustration, sadness, fear, and pain.

It is often difficult to trust God when we’re in the middle of a storm… Yet… I DO!! I believe Jeremiah 32:17 with all my heart. NOTHING is TOO HARD for MY GOD!! So when I have those moments of anger, frustration, confusion, fear…. they are only MOMENTARY!!! Because I am keeping my focus on HIM!! And I know that even though I can’t see “a way out” of this storm, I have FAITH that God IS going to bring me through this storm as He has so many times before!! “Faith is being sure of what we hope for & certain of what we do not see.” Hebrew 11:1 I don’t see the resolution… I don’t see how some of the things I’m dealing with can be restored… I don’t see my physical healing… BUT I have FAITH and that faith SUSTAINS ME!!

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Pt 5:7

I will not be consumed by this or any storm. Yes, I have moments of worry, fear, doubt, frustration… because I am human… but they do not consume me. His love, His mercy, His grace, His PEACE, His PRESENCE…. they CONSUME ME.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” I am clinging to this as I seek the Lord for guidance and direction for our family, for decisions that Philip and I will make for my health, for direction for my ministry, and for resolutions to all of the difficult situations we and our family members are dealing with.

GOD is GOOD!! He loves and cares for YOU!! TRUST and OBEY HIM and you WILL see Him MOVE!!

Thank you all for your prayers!!

“He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?” – Romans 8:32

God IS Faithful….

I’ve been “chewing” on Romans 12 all morning…really for the past two days. It is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I particularly love The Message version of verses 1 & 2:

^{Romans 1-2 (MSG)} “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

Well, I don’t know about you… but my life (most of the time) seems anything but ordinary! Most days seem incredibly chaotic… get up, take the boys to school, go to work (or to any number of doctor appointments), pick up boys from school, karate, soccer, church, choir practice, homework, eat, bathe, feed & take care of dogs, laundry, dishes, more work… and so on! THOSE are the days that I struggle to “place before God as an offering.” But God’s word is clear… it says “place your EVERYDAY life….”! We must take the time to give Him everything, our everyday lives, and every piece of us. And sometimes, I simply fail at this!!

I found out yesterday that my doctor is increasing the dosage of one of my really strong meds (a chemo pill). I was just getting to the point where I was only “on bed rest” one day a week (Thursdays… after taking the meds on Wednesday evenings). Fridays and Saturdays were still a little “yucky”, but I could a least do light housework and even get out of the house a little. I’m praying that as I increase the dosage (beginning tonight) the affects won’t be too bad. THESE are also days I struggle to “place before God as an offering.” I’m finding it easier and easier to lay around and just cry out to God. Which, isn’t terrible in and of itself, but I’m finding that I’m WHINING more than I’m PRAISING sometimes. Does that ever happen to you? SHAME ON ME!! God has done so much in my life and blessed me far more than I could ever possibly deserve. Lord forgive me for sometimes allowing myself to sink into a pity party instead of praising You through every circumstance as I should!! Let my heart and soul cry out to you for mercy and sing of Your unending love and grace!

I love the promises of the scripture above. IF we give Him our everyday lives…. He will change us from the inside out! It says that He (unlike the world) brings out the best in us. We’ve all had experiences of being around people (sometimes even family) that….well….. brought out the worst in us. But God brings out our best. He is on our side!! I’m so thankful that even as I sit and type this, feeling somewhat inadequate and frustrated because I often fail Him by not completely giving Him everything… He not only takes me as I am, but He “brings out the best in me.” He freely offers me mercy, grace, joy, love, hope, and riches beyond measure!! And I can rest in Him – safe and secure! He always carries me in the palm of His hand. He calls me His. He has called me, equipped me for ministry, and set me apart for His purposes. He loves me. PERIOD. And in return…. He simply wants my love, my worship, my praise, and for me to live my everyday life for Him. He will carry my burdens for me…. so why should I hold onto them? Lord, HELP ME to give everything to You… let me be a living sacrifice before you each and every day, offering everyday of my life to You and to Your service!

Here is the rest of Romans 12 (verses 3-21, The Message version). Chew on it, soak it up, read other versions…. take it to heart! God bless you!

³I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

^4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.

^6-8If you preach, just preach God’s Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don’t take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don’t get bossy; if you’re put in charge, don’t manipulate; if you’re called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don’t let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

^9-10Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

^11-13Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

^14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.

^17-19Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”

^20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

Hebrews 11:1
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Its that time of year again….I LOVE Fall… the beautiful colors of the changing leaves just makes me want to inhale deeply and praise God with every breath I exhale! It is a BEAUTIFUL season!! Everywhere I drive, I can’t help but take notice of the beauty all around me! And it used to be my very favorite because of the nice cool Autumn breeze. Now, I still enjoy the visual beauty of fall, and the pleasant smells, and nice fall fashions…. but I’d rather view this beautiful season from my car window with my nice warm heater blowing on my feet… or from my living room window as I snuggle up under my electric blanket with a small space heater that “follows me” everywhere I go in my house.

Lupus and Raynaud’s phenomenon have affected my body in such a way that temperatures below 90 are brutally cold to my body… bone aching, body shivering, skin purpeling, hair standing up… FREEZING COLD! Some times it seems I just can’t get warm enough…. I feel cold from the inside out… and it is a miserable feeling! So if you see me dressed as if I’m heading to the North Pole while everyone else is seemingly comfortable in short sleeves… that is why! 🙂

Last week my rheumatologist (who treats me for lupus) said that due to more complications I’ve been having from lupus, he needed to start treating me “more aggressively.” He added more medication to my already long list of prescriptions!! Once per week I have to take low dose chemotherapy. It is in pill form and the dose is no where near the amount a cancer patient would take. Nonetheless, the side effects and risks are… unpleasant to say the least. I was told to take it on a day when I am able to lay around for a couple of days after taking it. For me… that is Wednesday nights because I do not teach on Thursday or Friday. So for the next two to three months, my Thursday and Fridays will be a little unpleasant. I took it for the first time this past Wednesday night and was not able to get out of bed until Saturday, but am still not feeling quite myself today (Monday). My doc “hopes” that after two or three months, my body will get used to the medicine, the side effects will diminish, and I’ll start to see improvements in the lupus.

I know that God’s hand is still upon me. He is carrying me through this and will continue to give me unspeakable joy and everlasting strength each and every day! I am still praying for total healing… I’m praying with expectancy… I KNOW my healing IS coming… so until then, I will press on through this and praise Him with every ounce of strength He gives me!! I have FAITH in Him and am standing on the promises of His word. I love this quote from Dr. Tony Evans… “Faith is acting like it IS so even when it is NOT so in order that it WILL BE so simply because GOD SAID SO!” Hallelujah!

Psalm 91:14 (NIV) “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My name.”

I LOVE the Message version of this promise….

Psalm 91:14 (MSG) “If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble. I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know me and trust me. Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times; I’ll rescue you…I’ll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!”

WOW!! What a promise!! God is so good! God is LOVE! God is MERCY! God is GRACE! God is SHELTER! God is COMFORT! God is PEACE! GOD IS FAITHFUL TO KEEP HIS PROMISES WHEN WE ABIDE IN HIS PRESENCE AND LIVE FOR HIM!!

I have so much to be thankful for!! God has poured out His blessings on my life… far more than I could ever deserve. I’m so very thankful and praise Him for the blessings He has already poured out on my life. I am also praying with excitement and anticipation for the unattainable that He will bring forth in my life and in the lives of my family!!

I LOVE SUMMER TIME!!
It is DEFINITELY my favorite time of year!!!
I LOVE…..
– Lazy mornings of me & the boys sleeping in until 10am (sorry, Philip…wish you weren’t at a year round school so you could enjoy our lazy mornings!!)
– splashing the day away in the pool, the warmth of the sun (especially since my Lupus & Raynaud’s does MUCH better in warm weather than the cold)
– board games, card games, and video games with my boys
– nature hikes through the wooded part of our land
– watching the boys swing, slide, jump on the trampoline and seem so carefree
– cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie
– being able to spend 24 hours a day with my precious boys who are growing WAY TOO FAST!
– staying up late (thus, the “lazy mornings” (: )
– spontaneous “field trips” to the airport, dairy queen, library, or where ever we want to go!

ahhhhh…. SUMMER TIME!! I don’t want it to end…. I’m not ready to get back to early mornings, missing my boys all day while they are at school, homework, projects, soccer, basketball, karate, juggling our time, grabbing a quick bite for supper so we can run out the door to our next scheduled event…. Oh if Summer were only longer!!! I will savor every minute of this last month of summer!

I just want to shout this from the rooftops….

I am declaring RIGHT NOW that not only is God ABLE to heal me totally and completely from my sicknesses, to heal both of my boys from the illnesses they suffer from, to grow my ministry, to bless my family, to provide for us, to bring those that I love that are not saved into a deep relationship with Him….He is WILLING!!! I’m expecting BIG things in my life and in the lives of my family members and I KNOW He WILL fulfill more than I can & will ever ask for, hope for, or DREAM for!!!

God has been so FAITHFUL to me!! He has plans…plans to prosper me and my family… I will trust Him with my whole life…every part of it…and wait on His timing. BUT WHILE I WAIT… oooohhhh, while I wait I will trust Him, seek Him, serve Him, love Him, draw closer to Him, praise Him, share His love and grace with others, worship and adore Him, rest in Him, dwell in His presence, give to Him…with EVERYTHING I have….EVERYTHING I AM….and with every bit of energy and strength I have!!!